Grieving Your Pre-Pregnancy Body Is Okay

 

You shouldn’t lose more weight. You’re fine the way you are. If anything, you were underweight before you had a baby.

If you’re the person about to say this to someone, thinking you’ll make them feel better about their body – don’t. It won’t make them feel better.

If you can, attempt to refrain from commenting on their body anyway – because, why in the world would you be doing that?

If I feel like I should lose weight, I want to keep the right to do so. If time allows, of course. But it is within my rights, and it should be.

 

Do you realize how many people would be happy with the way you look now?

Again – a shortcut to making this quite an awkward exchange of words.

If you think about people in general, it won’t take long to realize that there will always be someone who wants something you have – whether that’s the weight, money, social status, circle of friends, family, skill – it doesn’t matter much. Should you be living your life with no quality, just because there are thousands of others who would trade places with you in a heartbeat?

Maybe I look fine to an ordinary, outside viewer.

I don’t feel fine.

I’m not used to the feeling of skin rubbing against itself when I’m curled up. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

I mourn all the unique pieces of clothing that I will never be able to buy anywhere else in the world, that are now at the bottom of my wardrobe, waiting for me to start working out again.

It feels strange for a belly button that’s always been an outie, to suddenly be closer to an innie.

Having even slightly more skin under my chin and realizing that when I bow my head sends shivers down my spine.

It feels bad to suddenly have to improvise with clothes whenever an occasion pops up that I’m not ready for.

I am definitely not obese, I’m not even overweight. I may be perfectly average. I may look just fine. But it’s not up to you to tell me that. I may not feel fine.

I will accept being seen as ungrateful for “what I have” and deal with it, wearing my big girl pants. Any size of pants that fits.

I will preserve right to feel less than good at something. It’s what drives me to success and you can’t take that away from me.

If you enjoy my work and would like to take it a step further by supporting me (read: help me create more content in greater quality without worrying about my fridge stash!), consider pledging on my Patreon – and receive fantastic goodies.


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