Blissful mornings when everything is going great, you’re rested and full of energy aren’t my thing.
Don’t get me wrong – I absolutely am full of energy and drive. But that doesn’t come from sleeping well, or sleeping long. It comes from my desire to get things done.
I tried the rest thing. It wasn’t great, but my body said “thank you” and I felt pleasant for a moment. That’s all there was to it.
I realized I can’t allow myself to feel rested, and here’s why.
Not because of someone else, but because of me. Whenever I feel rested, I feel like I didn’t fulfill my purpose and it makes me feel guilty. I think about all the things I want to be doing, accomplishing and conquering. In comparison to that, sleep feels like a luxury and a waste of time I can’t afford!
I didn’t make a difference
I don’t want to come to the end of my life knowing I’ve felt rested most of the time, but have gotten nowhere. By going to bed when my baby goes to bed just so I could be a perfect mom tomorrow, I am not doing him or me any favors. I’m never going to be a perfect mom anyway! Why would I hope that feeling rested will make me perfect, when I can improve my son’s life in so many other ways by getting things done?
I don’t enjoy coffee or naps that much
Believe it or not, I actually regret getting enough sleep every morning when I get a cup of coffee. I love coffee! Why would I choose to feel super rested and enjoy my coffee, or a possible nap when I get the chance to have one. I can’t even fall asleep! Who would ever want that kind of nap?
I am missing out on opportunities
For every hour you prioritize a good night’s rest over significant work you need to get done, guess what? Someone else is out there, stealing your opportunities! Your chance to grow! Your money, essentially! I don’t want that! Do you?
When I’m rested, I’m slow
Literally. I think slowly, I move slowly, I develop ideas slowly. I am more relaxed and it feels like I’ve got time. It’s a fake sense of security.
When I’m a bit tired, knowing I stayed up late last night, working on something – I continue to work on it and think about it in the morning. I develop! I create! I’m on alert, ready to go and my creativity is on a much higher level. That never happens when I feel rested. I feel less motivated!
I could get used to it
Lastly, if I was to succumb to the comfortable feeling of being well-rested and getting my beauty sleep (what even is that sorcery?), maybe I’d start liking it. Maybe I would be more average, and less creative. Less efficient. Less… me. I would live my life, knowing I’m missing out on things, taking every opportunity I get to sleep, and eventually, I’d be fine with it.
I don’t want to be that person.
I’d rather have a few years less to live, if that’s what being tired is going to do for me, than having all these years, watching my life pass me by and time run over me like a sports car over and old, forgotten road.