Having friends – better yet, managing friendships and keeping them fresh – is a rather difficult task when you have a little baby constantly pulling socks from your feet (that’s not all that babies do, but my guy loves taking people’s socks, so I imagine other babies do, too!). Friendships that a mom needs are full of love and support, as well as understanding for all the moments when you can’t be there for them if a child needs you. I wasn’t that lucky with all my friends.
However, there are different types of personalities every mom needs in order to keep her sanity and balance a life with a baby and her own social life (which is also important!).
Here are the top four types of friends a mom needs. Do you recognize some of your own friends in them?
A Mom In The Same Boat
This may be obvious, but yes, you need a mom who has a baby just around your baby’s age. Maybe you do playdates together, maybe you share the struggles of teething babies, or are just trying to find some time away from home, where there’s just two of you – knowing you’re facing the same struggles.
It’s nice to have someone like that.
It doesn’t have to be your best or your closest friend, but it’s good to know you’re not alone – and that’s when this mom friend really steps up!
A Mom Who’s Been Through It All
You need a mom friend who has a child older than yours, who’s been through all the struggles you could possibly imagine.
We can call her the Unlucky Mom.
The one who was clusterfeeding until her baby was 6 months of age. Whose baby would only sleep on her chest, during the full moon, on a good day. The rest of the time, they were awake.
A mom who has dealt with tantrums, screaming, biting, back-to-back flu multiple times, teething, you name it.
She was the unluckiest of all, but her experience and even the humor she brings with her when she talks about all these things, are invaluable.
Make sure to differ between a mom who constantly whines and not everything is all that bad (the Whambulance Mom) and this kind of mom, who’s had it bad, but she kept her spirit up even when the odds were completely against her (the Unlucky Mom). She’s not that unlucky afterall, though. She’s got her awesome kid who she loves more than anything! Keep people like that close to you!
This type of friendship, although difficult to maintain, is one of the most vital things in your life to keep you sane. When you don’t feel like talking about diaper rash, finger foods or how to get your baby off pacifier, she is always there for you to give you a glimpse of the outside world.
Her problems, however mundane they may seem to you – hangover, waiting for ages to get those shoes on a discount price, struggling to find a boyfriend – will refresh you from your own. You two will bring balance to each other’s lives.
Sometimes, you’ll feel like you have it so much better than her. Sometimes, you’ll be a bit jealous of her freestyle life. Both are okay. She will, too, feel the same way about you!
A Successful Mom
There are many ways one can be successful – this doesn’t imply that being “just a mom” isn’t good enough.
This time, I’m referring to a mom who’s chosen to follow her career path or start a small business, while managing her baby and the whole household. It’s truly one of the most difficult thing a woman can do! And somehow, she pulls it off! Isn’t she worth having around as a friend, who you can learn so much from?
She’s probably struggling, too, and doesn’t always feel like the best mom in the world – due to her split obligations, and sometimes even split personality (can’t really baby-talk to a customer, can you?) – but day by day, week by week, she’s pushing through.
I know a lot about these moms. I am that mom. I know they’re worth keeping close to you.