I’m going to start this with a very important disclaimer: no matter what the gender of my child was, I would love them more than life itself, just like I love Viktor now. There’s no doubt about that.
What most people never admit to themselves and others is that they tend to have secret desires and preferences regarding the child’s gender, even before he or she is born.
What can I say? I had a secret desire regarding my firstborn, and that desire only applied to him – I never said I wanted all my possible future kids to be boys. I wanted this one to be a boy and my wish came true.
Let’s try to put aside all the traditional reasons why people want boys – those reasons don’t concern me at all.
For a first-time experience with momming, I found it would be easier for me if things would be the way they are now, if I had a son first, and here’s why.
I’m not very good with girls
…of any age. At all.
I never used to be good at having girl friends. I don’t think we ever had that much in common, since I am quite literally uninterested in brands of shoes, clothes, makeup, purses, jewelry or whatever there is. I don’t have a lot of girl friends and most of those friendships ended poorly.
I never enjoyed the type of music, lifestyle or habits that girls around me did. I love books, TV shows that aren’t revolving around mushy things (I’m more into superhero things, Marvel, DC, you name it), various colors – mostly darker and subtle tones, music that most girls around me don’t really get, games… I’m just wired in a slightly different way.
If I had a daughter first, I’d probably feel pressured to teach her at least a thing or two that will help her adapt better, things I know nothing about – and that would make me extremely nervous. I am far more relaxed this way, knowing that Viktor will do just fine if he sees me (or us, including Filip) do things we’re interested in.
Boys are SO cuddly
Okay, let’s be honest here: I was hoping my baby would want to cuddle endlessly and I couldn’t imagine having a baby any other way.
I got my super-cuddly baby and I am over the moon.
This is something I have no experience with, but I keep hearing it from my friends that have girls: their little ones just don’t enjoy being cuddled all that much. For some reason, girls tend to be more all over the place and less attached to their moms, hence having less cuddly time.
I would love my little girl regardless, but I would hope she’d enjoy hair-stroking and feet-tickling moments just as much as Viktor does now! Can you blame me for it?
I always wanted to have an older brother
A lot of my childhood friends had older brothers. I’m going to admit, I was so jealous of them. In my eyes, they were their protectors, their support, strength, their very best friend none of us could ever out-friend or out-love. They were so important to those kids.
And one day, if we decide to bring another child into the world, he or she will have an older brother. I’m going to do all I can to teach him about kindness, protecting others, having good manners – all those qualities that a great little man (and older brother) should definitely have!
I don’t enjoy girly toys
Me not having too many girl friends consequently has pushed me in a direction where I don’t like girl toys, either. I was never a fan of Barbie dolls or whatever young girls like to do. In my childhood experience, boys were usually the ones with Legos, puzzles, board games and marbles. I loved those toys and I still do now. I am excited about the prospect of playing with them again!
I have zero sense of girl fashion
I’m not a huge fashion girl, and from what I see, having a girl comes with so much fashion choice even at a young age.
How in the world would I know what to buy for her? What’s appropriate? What’s good and comfortable for her?
Guys have so little to worry about. Little sweatpants, a sweatshirt or a -shirt and we’re all set for the day! Even thinking about picking up cute little dresses now for some reason makes me slightly nauseous.
Re-reading what I’ve just written, I understand that to many people – especially the ones with girls – this may seem like a selfish way of thinking. I somewhat agree with them.
I was selfish for ever wanting a certain gender before we knew if he was going to be a boy or girl.
However, I don’t judge myself for being happy about it now. And I know I wouldn’t love him any less if he was to be a girl.
I know that, whatever the next child – if we end up having one – ends up being, I am ready for anything. This time, I’m not lonely and I’m not alone. I have my little man and I know he’ll be the best brother the world has ever seen.