Well – they certainly blew mine when I became a SAHM and discovered that not everything is the way they’ve told me it would be.
Who’s they, you might ask? We all have that group of “them” – the unsolicited advice-givers and future-tellers (I still remember a particular lady at some birthday party who told me I was going to have a girl because she “feels it” – I was still in my first trimester!).
Here are some things I never knew I’d experience as a SAHM!
I enjoy looking good. Regardless of who sees me.
When I was pregnant, I heard all those stories about women in PJ’s and messed up hair who don’t care. While I still find myself in this state from time to time, I’ve realized that I care about how I look – not because of others, but because of me. In the morning, I get ready for the day regardless of whether we’re going somewhere or not. It makes me feel better prepared for life!
I still work. I still want to work.
This is another myth I’ve prepared myself for when I was pregnant: “When you get a baby, you’ll want nothing more from life than to be with them. Everything else becomes less important.”
Oh, really? And who is supposed to look after that baby?
I mean, yes, Filip is doing a great job at keeping us alive, but I enjoy contributing financially. Also, by working, I’m growing as an individual and it makes me feel great about myself!
I still have time for myself.
Probably not because I’m necessarily supposed to. I create time for myself.
While the baby is napping.
When he goes to bed in the evening.
When Filip takes him out for a walk.
I don’t waste that time – I use it to work on my blog (and take occasional showers that I don’t manage to squeeze in the night before – that’s also SAHM life for you!)
This has taught me that it’s all about personal preferences, principles and passion about a project. If you’re about to have a baby, it will seem like you’ve got no time – until you take control and create it.
I don’t always aim for a perfectly clean house and a 3-course meal.
Although I could. But sometimes I don’t. And that’s okay.
On some days, I’ll settle for the fact that the floor Viktor plays on is clean, and we have a simple vegetable + rice/soy bits dinner with a sauce.
I could spend all my time cooking and cleaning, but the thing is, those chores will still be there tomorrow. What I’ll have less of is opportunities to expand my business and grow my blog by doing so. I tend to not miss those opportunities – so, yes, you’ll sometimes find extra dishes or laundry on queue.
Can you tell me, with complete honesty, that it doesn’t happen in your home, too?
I do everything I can to make Viktor happy, yet I feel like it’s not enough.
I used to be a reasonable person. I used to appreciate every bit of my own effort and know when I’ve given enough.
That’s the thing that makes SAHMs a bit crazy. We over-commit, over-think, over-deliver and often feel like we’re underperforming. It’s hard to shake off those feelings.
I’ve dropped the things out of my life – no matter how fun they used to be – because they make me less efficient.
These days, I don’t find it tempting and enjoyable at all – I’ve fully committed to making my blog a wonderful experience and everything that used to make me happy (even watching some TV shows at night with Filip) is fading. Call it obsessed, I don’t mind. I’ve accepted my mentality and decided to use it the best way I can!
What are some things that are different than you were expecting before you had a baby and became a stay-at-home parent (dads matter, too)? Let me know in the comments!