When our children are brought into this world, with their innocent appearance and utter inability to take care of themselves, we realize that’s what we’re here for. We are their protectors. The providers of food, shelter, comfort, entertainment… Basically, the providers of their life. We love them more than the life itself. This is why it’s so difficult to accept that, from time to time, bad things will happen to our children.
Bad things happen to everyone. It happens to all of us.
We’re someone’s children, too. They’re probably struggling when they see us suffering. I am a child who never really had a father who was around, so I don’t really think this is the case for everyone, but I’m talking about the parents that are present in their kids’ lives.
I don’t like to rain negativity on people, but there are things that I (and everyone else) should accept, so they could function normally and happily in their lives.
There are things that we can’t control, and we shouldn’t.
Here’s a list of my current struggles that sometimes keep me awake when I’m thinking about my baby boy and his future. Do you have any similar thoughts?
My son will get hurt at some point.
I handle physical pain really poorly. I’m afraid of it. I was terrified of giving birth, and after I did, I was still terrified and said to myself: “There’s no way I’m doing this ever again!” (So far, I’ve held on to that one.)
If there is one thing I’m afraid more, it’s my baby feeling any kind of physical pain that would make him want to jump out of his skin.
I have to be able to accept that he may fall flat on his face when he starts running, and runs too fast with his tiny legs.
Maybe, at some point, he’ll have fractured or broken bones. I’ve never broken a bone, so this thought makes me want to break my own arm rather than him ever having it broken. Isn’t that strange?
What if he falls off his bike? Trips and falls down the stairs and hurts his head?
These thoughts are scary!
But they’re nothing more than series of very likely events in a child’s life. I need to teach myself how to panic less and be able to help, rather than feeling like a scared little girl when my baby needs someone to be in charge of fixing the problem.
One day, someone will break his heart.
It may not be a partner, like it suggest – but emotional pain is inevitable in every human being’s life. Unless he is unrealistically lucky… and super sheltered from the world, which is something I’m not planning to do.
One day, I’ll see him in tears, he will be broken, not knowing how to heal and feeling completely lost.
Of course I’ll be there for him if he wants me to.
Even though it will break my heart, too.
Someday, he may get bullied.
This one probably isn’t as big of a deal – considering that the whole world is made up of a portion of bullies.
Boy, do I hate bullies, though!
I’ve been struggling with this my whole life. I changed my elementary schools at the age of 12 due to an event that escalated into massive proportions. Due to bullies. I’ve been trying to stay away from them throughout high school and I would always fail with no exceptions. I even had my own bullies at university. I had them in Twitch chat. Wherever I’d go, they were somehow there, attracted to me like flies to a pile of dung.
I’m not afraid of him facing bullies.
I’m afraid of myself and my anger reigniting, the first opportunity it gets.
I try not to be an angry person. I’ve also gotten a lot better at handling bullies.
I even started coming up with parenting strategies and giving my son the tools he needs to not be bullied when the time comes, that don’t involve him bullying others. I didn’t have any of those tools. I was an angry, mistreated girl and I probably bullied people around me, not even being aware of it.
I don’t want my son to be average, either, if he’s striving for more.
Average people have no enemies. They don’t bother anyone.
I want him to be better than me at fighting it off. I just hope I’ll live up to my (and his) expectations about parenting, and I may be able to give him something to work with.
I’m not sure what that’s going to be, but I’m confident life will unravel its secrets when the time is right!
What are some things you’re afraid of when you think about your child’s future, that you can’t control? Let me know in the comments!