Events like this just strike me out of the blue. To someone who isn’t a parent, who has kids that are adults, or whose kids are newborns, it may not seem like a big deal.
A child gave me his toy when I asked him if I could have it. So what?
For me, as well as many parents who witnessed this “first”, it’s clear how massive this is.
After months and months of giving, loving and caring, asking for nothing in return – for the first time, the fruits of unconditional love are starting to be obvious.
My son, for the first time in his life, isn’t just taking.
He’s starting to give. Not just toys – he’s giving love, affection, first words and first signs of reasonable human actions.
It’s incredibly rewarding to feel this.
It also breaks my heart a bit.
What will the years bring? Maybe I’ll be giving the same, but he’s definitely going to be needing less, while giving more to us. He may not be aware of it, but every smile, every new skill he learns, every day with him is something he gives to us.
The days of him being tiny, helpless and clueless about the world are numbered.
He’s turning into a wild, happy, curious boy. No longer a baby.
He’s been quietly transforming in front of our tired eyes, in our busy hands, trying to keep him fed, clean and safe.
He still needs all those things, no doubt. But not the way a newborn would.
I don’t think I fully understood why receiving love and kindness from a child would ever give me heart ache, up until this point.
It’s the innocence, the act of giving everything they have in their little hands. That innocence will soon fade. He will learn about the world and how it works. It’s not made for the beautiful hearts of children.
It’s the growing up, learning how the world works and that not everything is about taking. The willingness to give everything they’ve got.
It’s the act of showing love and affection to those who are closest to you.
I love that we finally have that. But it hurts, knowing that his every act of giving takes him further away from that day he came home for the first time. Tiny, soft and curled up in my arms, smelling like a new life who came to this world.
Those days are gone.