How To Maintain Strong Marriage After Kids

No matter how thoroughly discussed, this remains one of the most burning topics for parents once the kid arrives. We all think we’ll be fine because we love our partners. That’s partially true – the love will still (most likely) be there, even when you’re arguing about who needs to empty the diaper bag or get up in the middle of the night to tend to the baby.

Nurturing a relationship is immensely important. Remember – this is the person you actually created that little being with. If there wasn’t for the two of you and your relationship, there wouldn’t be any of the kids you have, either! Here are some tips on how to do it – they work for me and my husband and we’re more in love than ever, even after we’ve had our baby!

  • Be strict about date nights

Yes, even if you’re tired, hungry or in a bad mood. It doesn’t need to be anything special – but make sure to call one night a week Date night. You can do things you do on other days to spend time together, but let each other know “today is the day” – next week, you’ll do better. Consistency is important!

  • Have daily time with your partner

…even if it’s just for a cup of coffee or a short YouTube video. Or a small conversation. Or a hug. I know it’s difficult to think about this on a daily basis when life is hectic, but never go to bed knowing you spent zero time letting your partner know they’re still important!

  • Do nice things for each other

You’re shopping for groceries? Get your partner his or her favorite snack or a book they’ve been wanting to read. It doesn’t need to be materialistic, either. Leave a post-it note for them to find in the morning. Do one thing a day that puts a smile on their face – your efforts will be rewarded!

  • Talk about something else, not just kids

Yes, they’re important – but your separate relationship, hobbies and interests matter, too! Find it in you to talk about something other than baby food and best stroller deals. After all, your little one needs to be hearing words from other types of vocabulary, too!

  • Find the time for intimacy

In reality, we all have pockets of time we can spend on being close with our partner. We also know how exhausting lives with babies can be – not every pocket of time feels like the “right one”. Make an effort even when you’re tired, your head hurts or you’d rather sleep. You probably won’t regret it once you get in the mood! It’s really important to nurture the love and intimacy that you’ve had before. This is one of the best ways to do it!

  • Go out alone, if you can

If you have a nanny or a relative who can look after the little one, even just for a little bit, take advantage of it. Remind yourself of what it was like when you didn’t have a baby – go to a restaurant, or see a movie. You’ll come back more fresh and willing to interact with your offspring!

What are your tips on how to maintain a strong, happy relationship?

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